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Ventilation desperately needed.

So I woke up around 9:25 a.m. Today....realizing that it was INDEED Monday and that I do INDEED have class, that had started at 8:30 a.m. And ends at 9:25 a.m. Which equates to me, sleeping through an entire class. T_T

And it was a class that I actually likedasfd@#$#^

you know, one or two slip ups, I can overlook. Happens to anybody and everybody yes? But once you find yourself apologizing for everything little thing, week after week, and telling yourself youapos;ll do better if you just actually DO�something about it, and no good results come from it? Then maybe itapos;s time to throw in the towel and just say, "I slip up because Iapos;m messed up"

I donapos;t mean "messed up" in the head like Health Ledger (god bless his soul) playing the joker kind of "messed up". I mean the nooks and crannies in my head are all messed up and I keep trying to put them in some kind of order and they just slip right back into place. Like a giant piece of dough that you try to push out, and the little yeast guys and girls inside are like: No no no (like a bad karaoke version of Amy�Winehouseapos;s hit single in a really high octave) and just pull themselves back to their original position. (and yes, I did just insert a metaphor within a metaphor) Itapos;s only when you start beating the crap out of the dough or start giving it some air and twirl way up into the air that it starts to give. That is like my brain and life.

Basically�I just need to accept that Iapos;m never going to be that straight A student and this is as good as itapos;s going to get. Maybe I should just be thankful that Iapos;m where I am. I�understand my classes. This is the second class that Iapos;ve missed after a month and a half of school. Iapos;m relatively on top of my honors project. ....<.<....>.>.... Doubtful. But Iapos;m going to stay hopeful on that note. And Iapos;m almost done with my job applications, with more than a month left for recomendations. Roommate life and dating life are relatively stable. I donapos;t write like an 8th grader anymore. (Now I write like a 9th grader�=D..okay maybe 11th at most)

::SIGH:: hereapos;s another metaphor for the day: Sometimes I feel like my life is so chaotic and the more I try to grip control on it, the more out of wack it becomes. And the situation starts to feel like a christmas ornament; so fragile that if I grip it too hard, itapos;ll shatter.

Now I need a translator so all of this venting can makes sense to the rest of the world. Know my angst. Fear it.

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I found something, better and more worth it.

Sometimes, i just love the feeling of being poor. -somehow, i am one. No right or wrong right? I dont care if you despies�me or not, cuz, like i have said, I�DONT�CARE hah:D Itapos;s fun, no, content? nononononono. -I dont know whatapos;s the right word to use. Happy? Thats it.

I have been saving like so the hell long, just to get that perfume. Haha, i havent succeed in saving though. Thats what God plan for me isnt it? Mommy bought one very nice one yesterday�at a much cheaper price than the one that i wanna buy. (: Indeed, everything is planned. So, i never rushed to save to that amount to get the perfume i wanted. Do you know how long i have use the current bottle of mine? About�5 months. Very shrimp.. Lol, the amount i used is strong even for the ants on my body to smell. Come closer to me then�

So, thereapos;s an advantage that�God made me poor. Iapos;ve learnt many things, more than any of you guys�here-who came to my blog. Youapos;ll never know�how hungry you can get, those hunger that you�always feel when recess is not here yet is never, NEVER the hunger that i felt before.�I came past many things in life. Like, humanapos;s nature.. Youapos;ll never knew how one person can get.. -when you, rich people are treated by them.

Anyways, thats all Iapos;ll continue another day.

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Informative speech on the Holocaust. I was unsure on whether if I could do it or not, because itapos;s so emotional and disturbing but I have an interest in learning about it. And that it has alot of information. I kinda had thoughts on doing Western films (but I donapos;t have an interest in them but it sounds interesting. But I have no idea what I would talk about), history of French fashion (I have an interest but it seems like a topic that you wouldnapos;t write much about), history of Hollywood (slight interest in the old Hollywood but I donapos;t know), Jack the Ripper (scary but I like murder mysteries but if I look too much into them they scare me)

And we have to use visuals, so I was thinking of using pie charts on the death toll
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Well, that hasnapos;t happened before. One of my allies in Spore put out a call for help, because they were being attacked by the Fire Ant Empire - and the Fire Ants are one of my client species ( I should have known giving Fire Ants sentience was asking for trouble )

And to add insult to injury, the Fire Ants were using one of my ship designs to carry out the invasion - the Sequilood Destroyer.

Life as a patron species is hard, it would seem.

Iapos;ll admit I was rather chuffed to see the airways swarming with globular starships the colour of American cheese ( colourful spacecraft being in short supply anyway, it would seem, although there was that fleet of Giant Pandas, and the Bob Marleys are richly pigmented), but I thought Iapos;d bought the Fire Ants up better then that Another 50,000 years of Uplift for you, girls...

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I had a nap yesterday so I havenapos;t been able to sleep yet but I am outski of it My drivers license with new address needs to come NOW and not weeks from now so I can just catch the greyhound and see the frigginapos; love boy Ohioooooo here I comeeee. (INNUENDO ALERT) Itapos;s our one year in schfive days :)
Lauren is smiling.
And getting paid pretty well if only JD wasnapos;t trying to cut back her hours. (grar at that)

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I dip my proboscis in and itapos;s delicious so I keep drinking,
nectar nectar nipples hard and chewing them
for spewing juicy fruit,
oh baby baby.
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Looking for the one that saught me out, a ring round the bush that seems to lead to sadness, self loathing and i bit of hatered for others. To hear of someones pain that you already hate you wish for it to continue, but to wish�death on them is a whole different story though you�want to kill them. Never ask forgivness of the person you betryed itapos;s an dead end road that will acomplish nothing,�Asking�someone to bare with you means itapos;s something that will not last that long but when it last a year. That toll has started and is now just brain wrecking�and now you wish to run tho your known for running in head first.....Iapos;m getting beyond the point of why i started this, someone on this site wishapos;s to find me and�wishapos;s for me to be single I�beg you find me quickly and fix me. I need to be�looked at for i think i have lost all since of rational thought find me, work your magic that was�oh so promised.��
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Itapos;s not gonna happen. I think i just started talking to a i dont wanna call her a hoe, but idk how to put it nicer. Im thinking she might have a bf and sheapos;s flirting with me and telling me all kinds of stuff.

last weekend, my friends girlfriend kept putting her head in my shoulder haha tell he showed up. Hahaa ashley has been corrupted and now drinks. I talked to her a bit at the party. Fack dude the night before that was insane hanging with deandre. We finished the night at some girlsapos; appartment. They had a stripper pole an they were working it in front of us.


hanging with loco, deandre,cj, rob, and nick is always crazy. For some reason we always run into authority. No worries... Havent been arrested or cited with a minor or anything... Knock on wood.


well im more than ikely not going home til Christmas break
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